Day 8 - A moment.

( Kasey Chambers – Not Pretty Enough )


Forgive me if I hesitate, but my mind goes back and forth as a suburban train.
^Bad translation, but who cares? Love the song (not the linked one!)


All right. A few days ago (http://twinkletoezx.blogspot.com/2011/01/day-2-my-first-love.html), I said I'd tell you that sad story 'bout "My first love" in a "moment"-post. And here we are, the first of the moments. So here we go.
   Well... To fully understand this moment, you have to know a little more. Ellinore was... Seriously depressed. Her dad was a drunk, and her mother wasn't in the picture (I think she died of cancer? Don't really remember.). She had an awesome sister, though, but sometimes that's just nut enough.
   I started talking to Ezzie (aka Ellinore) between... six months and a year before she died, and we were... Soulmates. If I ever believed in soulmates, it would've been when I knew Ezzie. She was just like me -- but ten times better, I guess. She was stronger -- or at least I always thought so.
   So... The moment that comes to mind is the moment she died. She killed herself, and since she didn't know how I would find out otherwise, she did it in webcam. So I'm not being attention whore when I say I've actually "seen someone die".
It was horrible, you know. I don't think I'll ever recover completely from it, but at least I can try. But how did I process this? I hid it inside myself, and didn't tell anyone for a year. I listened to loud music, and wrote poetry. And stories. And read books. And so on. I still feel a bit bad for my parents, though! o.o


Like walking on a tightrope, on the edge of the ravine, but still be in balance. 


Anyways. Not a lot about the moment, but a promise is a promise.


xoxo
Twinkletoes