To be yourself is all that you can do.

( Audioslave – Be Yourself )

Lol. I think I got bored of the whole "30 days"-thing, huh?
...and then I didn't have anything to write about. So I haven't updated my blog for two months. Good girl! *eye roll*
   Daaaaamn. I don't even know what to say right now! But I don't feel like going to bed, so here I am.
   Maybe I should give you a little update?
   Well... Going all depressed-kiddo on everyone again, even though I try really hard not to. But it just gets so much, you know? T is making every day a living hell for me, and she acts all innocent and everyone takes her side. Of course. Why would anyone stand by the person they've known longer?
   J seem to take "my side", though. I guess you never know who your real friends are going to turn out to be. Don't get me wrong, I love J, but... We've had our ups and downs. But we've probably been through the most together too, so I shouldn't be all that surprised, I guess.
   What is there else to say? I miss B. And I know that's pathetic, I've only known him for like a month or so, and then I haven't talked to him for another month. But I miss him. I could tell him anything!
   Not even A seem to be worrying so much about me. I guess everyone is caught in their own lives, huh?


To be yourself is all that you can do. Well... I'm trying.


xoxo
Twinkletoes

Thinking of life.

Day 9 - My faith

( Kula Shaker – Peter Pan RIP )


Oh my god, what a strange subject!
I mean... I don't have any faith in religion or anything, and I guess that's what this topic is about.
I think religion is just something for lost people to believe in. Like a... common imaginary friend, you know?
...gosh, someone with actual faith would probably get slightly mad at this blonde comment :$

I believe in science, mkey?

Day 8 - A moment.

( Kasey Chambers – Not Pretty Enough )


Forgive me if I hesitate, but my mind goes back and forth as a suburban train.
^Bad translation, but who cares? Love the song (not the linked one!)


All right. A few days ago (http://twinkletoezx.blogspot.com/2011/01/day-2-my-first-love.html), I said I'd tell you that sad story 'bout "My first love" in a "moment"-post. And here we are, the first of the moments. So here we go.
   Well... To fully understand this moment, you have to know a little more. Ellinore was... Seriously depressed. Her dad was a drunk, and her mother wasn't in the picture (I think she died of cancer? Don't really remember.). She had an awesome sister, though, but sometimes that's just nut enough.
   I started talking to Ezzie (aka Ellinore) between... six months and a year before she died, and we were... Soulmates. If I ever believed in soulmates, it would've been when I knew Ezzie. She was just like me -- but ten times better, I guess. She was stronger -- or at least I always thought so.
   So... The moment that comes to mind is the moment she died. She killed herself, and since she didn't know how I would find out otherwise, she did it in webcam. So I'm not being attention whore when I say I've actually "seen someone die".
It was horrible, you know. I don't think I'll ever recover completely from it, but at least I can try. But how did I process this? I hid it inside myself, and didn't tell anyone for a year. I listened to loud music, and wrote poetry. And stories. And read books. And so on. I still feel a bit bad for my parents, though! o.o


Like walking on a tightrope, on the edge of the ravine, but still be in balance. 


Anyways. Not a lot about the moment, but a promise is a promise.


xoxo
Twinkletoes

Day 7 - My day.

( Amy Can Flyy – Love, Lust and Pixie Dust )


Oh my god, my day was so meaningless that I can't even remember what I did!
Jeez, you're just pathetic. 
But... I went to school, played Mega Jump on Daniel's iPhone (HOW CAN I BE ADDICTED TO iPHONE GAMES WHEN I DON'T EVEN OWN AN iPHONE?!), and decided that I'm going to work my bum off so I can get into a really nerdy school next year. So... I've got one semester to raise about... every one of my grades. Calculus - from D to A, English - from C/B to A, Spanish - from E to C. Music from C to A. Art from D to A.
It's going to be an... hectic semester.

Wish me luck!

xoxo
Twinkletoes

Day 6 - My best friend.

( Before Their Eyes – Why 6 is afraid of 7 )

I don't think I have a best friend. I used to have one though, but... She changed. And not for the better, so now I'm bestfriendless. 
No, I still have a huge group of close friends, in which there's a few that might top the list as "best friend"s. Sophie. Greta. Vera. Sebastian. Jonas. 
Yeah... That's them. All though I only meet Sebastian and Jonas once in awhile. We should really start seeing each other more often! I only see Jonas a few times every year, and Sebastian... once a month? I dunno.


Well... They're the best, and that's why I felt that they deserve a special announcement here.

Lol, these posts are really interesting, huh? Maybe I should stop this "30 days"-thing? NAH. I started it, I'm gunna end it too.

xoxo
Twinkletoes

Day 5 - What is love?

( NEEDTOBREATHE – The Outsiders )


Wow. "What is love?" Is that really a question that I should tackle in a blog post? Maybe it is.
I think that love is... When you're prepared to do anything for one particular person -- you're willing to face your biggest fears, just to make sure they'll always be by your side. Because life just isn't the same without them.

I also believe that love isn't limited to boy/girl-love. The "regular" kind. It can be a girl/girl or a boy/boy thing. Love doesn't have to be romantic either. Just wanting to be close to someone is a sign of love, in my opinion.


But, of course, this is only my opinion. And it doesn't seem to matter anymore.


xoxo
Twinkletoes

Day 4 - This is what I ate today.

( Rush – Tom Sawyer )


Yeah -- the most interesting post in aaaages!
Uhm... I'm not a big fan of eating, but... I ate a sandwich (with cheese *w*) for breakfast, a spoon of pasta for lunch and another helping of pasta for dinner (accompanied by some cheese :>), and now I'm snacking on an apple. Healthy girl? I think so -- not.
I'm actually trying to get better.
...which is why I'm eating an apple.


xoxo
Twinkletoes