To be yourself is all that you can do.

( Audioslave – Be Yourself )

Lol. I think I got bored of the whole "30 days"-thing, huh?
...and then I didn't have anything to write about. So I haven't updated my blog for two months. Good girl! *eye roll*
   Daaaaamn. I don't even know what to say right now! But I don't feel like going to bed, so here I am.
   Maybe I should give you a little update?
   Well... Going all depressed-kiddo on everyone again, even though I try really hard not to. But it just gets so much, you know? T is making every day a living hell for me, and she acts all innocent and everyone takes her side. Of course. Why would anyone stand by the person they've known longer?
   J seem to take "my side", though. I guess you never know who your real friends are going to turn out to be. Don't get me wrong, I love J, but... We've had our ups and downs. But we've probably been through the most together too, so I shouldn't be all that surprised, I guess.
   What is there else to say? I miss B. And I know that's pathetic, I've only known him for like a month or so, and then I haven't talked to him for another month. But I miss him. I could tell him anything!
   Not even A seem to be worrying so much about me. I guess everyone is caught in their own lives, huh?


To be yourself is all that you can do. Well... I'm trying.


xoxo
Twinkletoes

Thinking of life.

Day 9 - My faith

( Kula Shaker – Peter Pan RIP )


Oh my god, what a strange subject!
I mean... I don't have any faith in religion or anything, and I guess that's what this topic is about.
I think religion is just something for lost people to believe in. Like a... common imaginary friend, you know?
...gosh, someone with actual faith would probably get slightly mad at this blonde comment :$

I believe in science, mkey?

Day 8 - A moment.

( Kasey Chambers – Not Pretty Enough )


Forgive me if I hesitate, but my mind goes back and forth as a suburban train.
^Bad translation, but who cares? Love the song (not the linked one!)


All right. A few days ago (http://twinkletoezx.blogspot.com/2011/01/day-2-my-first-love.html), I said I'd tell you that sad story 'bout "My first love" in a "moment"-post. And here we are, the first of the moments. So here we go.
   Well... To fully understand this moment, you have to know a little more. Ellinore was... Seriously depressed. Her dad was a drunk, and her mother wasn't in the picture (I think she died of cancer? Don't really remember.). She had an awesome sister, though, but sometimes that's just nut enough.
   I started talking to Ezzie (aka Ellinore) between... six months and a year before she died, and we were... Soulmates. If I ever believed in soulmates, it would've been when I knew Ezzie. She was just like me -- but ten times better, I guess. She was stronger -- or at least I always thought so.
   So... The moment that comes to mind is the moment she died. She killed herself, and since she didn't know how I would find out otherwise, she did it in webcam. So I'm not being attention whore when I say I've actually "seen someone die".
It was horrible, you know. I don't think I'll ever recover completely from it, but at least I can try. But how did I process this? I hid it inside myself, and didn't tell anyone for a year. I listened to loud music, and wrote poetry. And stories. And read books. And so on. I still feel a bit bad for my parents, though! o.o


Like walking on a tightrope, on the edge of the ravine, but still be in balance. 


Anyways. Not a lot about the moment, but a promise is a promise.


xoxo
Twinkletoes

Day 7 - My day.

( Amy Can Flyy – Love, Lust and Pixie Dust )


Oh my god, my day was so meaningless that I can't even remember what I did!
Jeez, you're just pathetic. 
But... I went to school, played Mega Jump on Daniel's iPhone (HOW CAN I BE ADDICTED TO iPHONE GAMES WHEN I DON'T EVEN OWN AN iPHONE?!), and decided that I'm going to work my bum off so I can get into a really nerdy school next year. So... I've got one semester to raise about... every one of my grades. Calculus - from D to A, English - from C/B to A, Spanish - from E to C. Music from C to A. Art from D to A.
It's going to be an... hectic semester.

Wish me luck!

xoxo
Twinkletoes

Day 6 - My best friend.

( Before Their Eyes – Why 6 is afraid of 7 )

I don't think I have a best friend. I used to have one though, but... She changed. And not for the better, so now I'm bestfriendless. 
No, I still have a huge group of close friends, in which there's a few that might top the list as "best friend"s. Sophie. Greta. Vera. Sebastian. Jonas. 
Yeah... That's them. All though I only meet Sebastian and Jonas once in awhile. We should really start seeing each other more often! I only see Jonas a few times every year, and Sebastian... once a month? I dunno.


Well... They're the best, and that's why I felt that they deserve a special announcement here.

Lol, these posts are really interesting, huh? Maybe I should stop this "30 days"-thing? NAH. I started it, I'm gunna end it too.

xoxo
Twinkletoes

Day 5 - What is love?

( NEEDTOBREATHE – The Outsiders )


Wow. "What is love?" Is that really a question that I should tackle in a blog post? Maybe it is.
I think that love is... When you're prepared to do anything for one particular person -- you're willing to face your biggest fears, just to make sure they'll always be by your side. Because life just isn't the same without them.

I also believe that love isn't limited to boy/girl-love. The "regular" kind. It can be a girl/girl or a boy/boy thing. Love doesn't have to be romantic either. Just wanting to be close to someone is a sign of love, in my opinion.


But, of course, this is only my opinion. And it doesn't seem to matter anymore.


xoxo
Twinkletoes

Day 4 - This is what I ate today.

( Rush – Tom Sawyer )


Yeah -- the most interesting post in aaaages!
Uhm... I'm not a big fan of eating, but... I ate a sandwich (with cheese *w*) for breakfast, a spoon of pasta for lunch and another helping of pasta for dinner (accompanied by some cheese :>), and now I'm snacking on an apple. Healthy girl? I think so -- not.
I'm actually trying to get better.
...which is why I'm eating an apple.


xoxo
Twinkletoes

Day 3 - My parents.

( Papa Roach – Hollywood Whore )

I don't really know what to say about my parents. I love them, I hate them -- just like any average teenager.
My mum mostly drives me nuts -- always expecting more than I can fulfill. But we also have some great moments, when we talk about life, go to yoga lessons, watch tv-series or... go shopping! I don't know. She's really embarrassing, but I have no idea what I'd do without her restless behavior in my life.

My dad... He's special. He drives me nuts with his unstoppable enthusiasm about... his diet, or the photo classes he's been taking, and he is... just like me, in some way. From the seriously disturbed humor to the love of Queen and Sator. And just like me -- he's really bad with... people. I mean... Neither of us are particularly well at giving other's compliments, or keeping quiet when we should. 


Lol, I love my wacko parents.


xoxo
Twinkletoes

Day 2 - My first love.

( Sandi Thom – Superman )


All right.
Ehm, I don't really remember my first "love", but I guess I should think about my first real love! Not that kindergarden, silly thing that never led to anything.
Well... I think that my first love must've been when I was about 11. Sad story, that one.
Ehm... Her name was Ellinore, but I mostly call her "Ezzie". She was one day older than me, and seriously depressed. Well... It's a sad story. Maybe I'll tell it on one of the "memory" posts? ;)


xoxo
Twinkletoes

Day 1 - Introduce myself

( Sam Hart – Mario Kart Love Song )

I think I did a quick introduction a while ago (*scrolls down*), but here is goes again!

So... I'm a currently fifteen year old girl (G.I.R.L = Girl In Real Life!), from Sweden. Yeah, awesome, right? Naah, but anyway. In my free time I... Sit by the computer. Play World of Warcraft. Read books. Obsess about Harry Potter (Mm... Draco Malfoy <3)
Lol, now I stopped writing for a while because I got bored. Facebook <3
Yeah, I'm a facebook addict, too! And an iPhone-addict. And I don't have an iPhone. Which is kind of fail. 
When I'm bored -- I do my nails. So right now I have leopard print. Which is kind of awesome.
And I like to write in short sentences. As you can see.
I love Spongebob, and Avatar (not that fail, wannabe Pocahontas, blue crap. The Last Airbender <3 (THE CARTOON, NOT THAT FAILURE MOVIE THEY MADE *breathe angrily*))
I love cloths, but I feel that I don't even have five of the garments I'd actually want! :o Don't really know why, though. Or... Well, I do. It's because I end up buying simple clothing that "goes with everything", but ends up boring together. Lol, weird thoughts are a part of a life with me.

And now I'm seriously bored, and don't feel like writing more. So I might update if I feel like it!


xoxo
Twinkletoes

Need inspiration..?

( The Veronicas – 4ever - 2009 )


Since I have a problem with inspiration (...finding interesting things to write about...), I thought I'd give this "30 days"-thingy a shot. A lot of people are doing it right know, so I guess I'll be a bit mainstream, then!
Here's the list!

Day 1 – Introduce myself.

Day 2 – My first love.

Day 3 – My parents.

Day 4 – This is what I ate today.

Day 5 – What is love?

Day 6 – My best friend.

Day 7 – My day.

Day 8 – A moment.

Day 9 – My belief.

Day 10 – This is what I wore today.

Day 11 – My siblings.

Day 12 – In my purse.

Day 13 – This week.

Day 14 – This is what I wore today.

Day 15 – My dreams.

Day 16 – My first kiss.

Day 17 – My favorite memory.

Day 18 – My favorite birthday.

Day 19 – This is what I regret.

Day 20 – This month.

Day 21 – Another moment.

Day 22 – This upsets me.

Day 23 – This makes me feel better.

Day 24 – This makes me cry.

Day 25 – A first.

Day 26 – My fears.

Day 27 – My favorite place.

Day 28 – I miss this.

Day 29 – My ambitions.

Day 30 – A last moment.

Who want's to travel to the land far far away?

( Breaking Benjamin – Unknown soldier )

 Sharpen your pencils, tear out all used pages in your pads and load your iPods with this season's best music. You know what I'm talking about -- school's on again.
This semester is going to be wild. Everyone is going to go mad from the stress, everyone is going to crazy stuff in the weekends to release some of the pressure. And the only result is going to be even more stress. These are the days of our lives, right?

I'm so fucking tired. I slept for like an hour last night! So I kind of passed out on the couch when I got home this afternoon. Way to go, me. Starting off the semester with insomnia -- good choice!

What are you going to do to prepare for this? For me it's the last semester in this school. We have to apply to new schools, answering the question that shows what the rest of our lives are going to be like -- What do I want to work with? What education should I have for it? 

And I'm applying on my terrible grades, of course.

Well... I wish you the best of luck, loves. You're going to need it.

xoxo

Twinkletoes

Just sumthin' cuz I'm bored.

( Jay Smith – Bad Romance )

Only two days left before school starts again. Can't say that I'm psyched about it -- I'd prefer another week of lazyness. 
The past week have been spent in front of this useless computer, playing World of Warcraft. Yeah, I made a few new friends! Nolifer, or what? 
Is it just me, or have something gone very wrong when a teen girl can't log on to her World of Warcraft account because her dad is playing? Jeez, why did you give up your own account, then?
 

I do not like the design of my blog right now. Can be because it's a result of the drunkness of New Years Eve. Not the smartest thing I ever did -- probably going to change it soon. Anyway...
Tomorrow I'll be meeting my friends again! I haven't seen them in a while now, we've all been kind of busy, I guess (Well... Not me, of course.). But it's going to be fun! We're going to this "adventure"-thing in my town. We're going to pwn!

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah, romah-romah-ah, gaga-ooh-la-la!

xoxo

Twinkletoes

New Year Resolutions..?

( Paramore – Brick By Boring Brick - Acoustic Version )

Sure - I basically never do the "New Year Resolutions"-thingy, but... well, I feel like I need some change in my life -- forever and always.

So the first one; I'm going to spend more time with my love, my life (no, not my boyfriend. I'm currently single.), Hanna. You know, the girl on the picture in my last post.
We haven't spent enough time together the past year -- she knows it, and I know it. And I guess it's mostly my fault, because I was so negative about her boyfriend. But, seriously, who wouldn't? She knew him for two weeks before sleeping with him, and then he said that they should keep their relationship a secret. That's not ideal, is it? Didn't think so. But, well, they lasted six months, but lately they've mostly been arguing, so now they've taken a "break". Yeah. Well, I'm there for her.

Second; I'm going to try to forgive some of the people I've been fighting with. All except one, I guess, but that's just beacause she was a complete bitch to me -- threw away our friendship as if it ment nothing to her -- and the wound is too fresh to mend, if you know what I mean.
Lately I've realized that I'm a very unforgiving person. If someone hurts me, I won't stick up with it, and it can take years before I even speak to the being again. I guess that's kind of a bad quality, and that's why I have decided to at least try to forgive some of the people I have to spend my days with.

Third; I know this is a tad cheesy (but well -- life's a tad cheesy), but I'm going to try to lose some weight. You know, lay off the snacks, don't drink so much soda, try to work out once in awhile, and so on. I'm just hoping it won't lead to another eating disorder (yes -- I have a minor eating disorder in my past, which still effects me sometimes). But if it would, I know I have my angels to help me out. All I have to do is ask, and I've done that before.

Fourth; I'm going to stop being such a bitch. Seriously, I won't have any friends left if I keep up this... bitchyness. That's a little part of the forgiving point too. I want to be a better person -- more open minded.

I was aiming for five resolutions, but... I don't really know. Seems like number two is going to be hard enough for me, so these will have to do. TTYS! (Ehehehe... Just kidding. I meant "Talk to you soon"! I don't really use abbreviations.)

xoxo
Twinkletoes

Some of the photo's I take are actually allright, babes!

2010 - the past.

( The Fray – Happiness )

Yea. New year - new blog. I guess we can call it kind of a fresh start!

What can I say about the past year? It sucked, and it ruled. At the same time. You know the feeling? Confusion. Anger. Happiness. All in some unpredictable, everyday mess. Do you get what I mean?
Well... I thought I'd make some kind of "2010 review", or what ever you want to call it. Of course, I kind of believe in the "Past is past" theory, but somehow it feels like I'm going to be able to meet the new year with a totally different perspective if I kind of... Think through the past year.
I've seen others write about the past year on their blogs, and everyone seems to do it in different ways! I just don't know how to even begin! How can my life have changed this much in just one short year.
I mean, somehow it almost ran in a circle too. Or... how should I put it? I can feel that 2010 and 2011 are going to be completely different, but somehow they seem to start in a similar way. With the same guy.
Jeez. My head always feel like a washing machine whenever I try to think everything through! UGH!
Maybe I should just give this up, and... write one of those random, boring posts instead? NO! I promised myself that I would actually write something of meaning in this blog!

Now I just found myself staring at the snow outside my window. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to begin, or where to end. The best way to sum up the past year would actually be like this -

2010 - the friggin' crazy mess (more commonly called "year") that changed my life.

There you have it, folks.

Maybe I should introduce myself - since I seem to have some space left.
Well... I'm a random, bit crazy girl from Sweden, on an age of currently 15. And I am - in lack of a better word - a slut. I get bored with guys way to easy. Of course, maybe none of 'em have been worth sticking to.  I have the best of the best friends, the girl I've known since she was born. I mean... I'm crazy, but when I'm with her, I'm completely nuts. Whacko. Insane. Childish!
So many words for the same thing, eh?
What can I say more? I read a lot. I'm a complete Potterhead, currently planning a trip to USA in June, just to visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Oh, the joy. I will die on spot when I get there, just from pure happiness.
I have an immature love of Disney movies, and I watch them once in awile, just to relive my childhood again. Although I barely remember any of it. *lol*
I spend an unhealthy ammount of time in front of my computer - mostly playing dumb games like World of Warcraft. Yeah, I'm a girl, and I like games. Don't die right on spot out of shock, hun.

I'd just like to apologize for my poor grammar, and I'm hoping my english will improve during this year.

xoxo,

Twinkletoes

The best of friends, playin' in the snow! She's awesome. <3